Isaiah 53:3 (NLT) He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.
Jesus died for our aloneness. All that he suffered was for us. And, His suffering for those things rescues us from those things. So, In His affliction, Jesus endured aloneness as no other person in all of time. His isolation began with a betrayal. It became abandonment and culminated in a denial by one of his closest disciples. In the end, it was truly and only him to die utterly alone.
I argue that no other human has ever experienced what Jesus endured. Certainly many were crucified and humiliated. Jesus was unique in that he had always lived in a relationship with God. He enjoyed God as Father. No other person had experienced such a relationship. When he went to the cross somehow that relationship was severed. So the companionship he had never been without was suddenly no more. We see this when we hear Him cry, “My God, My God why have you forsaken me?” Never before had he used less than the word “Father” in reference to God. But, at the cross, he was completely alone as none of us have ever experienced.
In Each of Us, There Is A Lonely Place.
Psalms 25:16-17 (NLT) Turn to me and have mercy, for I am alone and in deep distress. 17 My problems go from bad to worse. Oh, save me from them all!
Psalms 142:4 (NLT) I look for someone to come and help me, but no one gives me a passing thought! No one will help me; no one cares a bit what happens to me.
A study in 2019 found that three in five Americans described themselves as lonely. And, those numbers are on the rise. In fact, heavy social media users are the most likely to express a feeling of loneliness. (73%)
Why is America so alone? There are people everywhere. There are concerts, festivals, restaurants, and even churches that are filled with people. But, three out of five feel isolated.
The answer is our hearts. Not the one pumping in your chest but the core history, identity, and value… of you. Your heart is your most intimate self. Yet, our hearts tend to be our least known self as well. We so desperately need to be known. Something inside of us knows that we need to reveal ourselves. If we could, we would better know ourselves. But, that doesn’t happen, we remain hidden even from our own comprehension. And, over time, our self imposed isolation is complete.
We Escape That Loneliness Only Temporarily.
Proverbs 14:12-13 (NLT) There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death. 13 Laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when the laughter ends, the grief remains.
Most of us do not live, we escape. God pegged it thousands of years ago in the writings of a wise man. We gather, travel, and experience all – so that a bit of laughter might lift our spirits. But, within, we weep. We crave belonging, knowing and being known but we do not know how to really connect with anyone. And, if we knew how to “connect”, we know we would deny ourselves the opportunity. Why? We know we are afraid of the very thing we need most. We are afraid to be known. Because to be known is to risk rejection. Making a real connection is a gamble. It is a roll of the dice, that in being known, we are worth knowing. And honestly, for most, it is better to endure the isolation than risk a judgment of our worth.
Only Jesus Provides Real Companionship.
John 14:23 (NLT) Jesus replied, “All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them.
Hebrews 13:5 (ESV) …“I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
The price that Jesus paid for your aloneness defines your value. Jesus’ suffering, death, and resurrection IS a judgment upon your past to be sure, but ALSO of your worth. In His great act of sacrifice, He declared a truth. He stated for all the angels, demons, and creatures of eternity, that you are worth knowing. Think about it, The God of the universe believes that you are worth being truly known.
God knows that in your expression of your very heart to Him lies the most wonderful of joys. Jesus wants to know you. The Father wants you to explore the wonderful heart He has recreated within you. He wants you to know you as He knows you. He wants you to come to terms with the future He sees for you. This is why Jesus covered your past. You can be free of it. Freedom from your doubts and fears is within your grasp. A real relationship with God the Father has been purchased. Real connection with Jesus awaits your outstretched faith.
Jesus Also Empowers Real Connection.
John 17:23 (NLT) I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.
It is our fear that keeps us from real connection with others. Only when we believe in the value God has placed upon us are we free to risk rejection. When we believe what God has demonstrated about us, we realize a judgment upon our value by another isn’t true. Rather, such a rejection of our worth is only their fear of being known. The dismissal by another is not an accurate estimation of our true value.
Jesus overcame our aloneness with Love. It was brutal and violent, but it was love. And that is how we will find a connection with others. We will be known as we are willing to know others. When we reach past our fears toward other fear-filled and broken people, we truly love like Jesus. But, of course, I wonder what that looks like. It sounds beautiful, but how is it practical?
It starts where we began, Jesus suffered our aloneness. He took an unbelievable step toward us by living “in our shoes”. He did not just come to tell us how to live, but rather to understand why we lived as we did. He experienced our suffering and better understood our situation.
So, begin there. Seek to understand others. After all that God has done for us, it seems a simple thing. But when you do, you will be amazed at the love and compassion that will take shape within you. You will grow in courage. You will know and you will risk being known. Then your aloneness will evaporate as the deceiving fog it has always been.